Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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