More tranny stories later!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
