I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
