At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize