I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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