Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
