he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize