I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
birth control should be required to get into college
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Randomize
