You smell like stripper and shame
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
