what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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