im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I met the friendliest cop last night
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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