yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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