I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
