I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
