Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Small penises have feelings too.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
