I'm gonna have a badass scar
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
