THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
