So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
