Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
