Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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