Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
