He kissed a someone with a penis
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Watching her eat just hurts me
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
