She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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