You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize