so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
smell my finger.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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