she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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