You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
