Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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