This girl is more easily done than said...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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