next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
