On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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