I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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