I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
