I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
