He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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