So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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