That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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