Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
