Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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