I just saw a hot homeless man
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
