I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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