girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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