He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
