Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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