if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You made out with two different species that night
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
