Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
false alarm. still invincible.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize