The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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