I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
