I need help removing her.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
