There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
