quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
