Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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