i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
