Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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