Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
