on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
